The 3 Stages Of Game
A dating coach cannot claim to be ‘advanced’ at game if he can’t even handle a relationship with a woman. Game isn’t just about getting women to sleep with you, and not recognizing the stages of game damages the lives of pickup artists long term.
The 3 Stages Of Game
There are 3 stages of game…
- Dating (Meeting women)
- Relationships (Keeping women)
- Family (Raising family & building legacy)
There are many pickup artists who become stuck in stage 1 of game. And there are also many pickup artists who proceed through the stages of game, only to retire the mindsets of game without realizing the real practical applications game has on raising a family.
This is written for the guys who are stuck in certain stages of game. And this is also written for the guys who have yet to realize the power of game when applied to family life.
Stage 1 Of Game – Dating
Stage 1 of game is dating; meeting women. This is widely known as the ‘dating game’.
The way to meet women is through the 4 pillars of outer game; day game, night game, social circle game and message game.
The problem with the pickup artist mindset is that it is too focused on stage 1 of game. Many pickup artists become trapped in the stage 1 mindset of game, placing too much importance on the endless pursuit of dating as many women as possible. There is no genuine end goal or higher purpose within stage 1 of game (Dating) without the existence of stage 2 of game (Relationships).
Abundance is great, but abundance alone doesn’t automatically secure the next stages of game for you. If your entire identity is that you’re a pickup artist and day game is your only hobby, you will struggle to keep women around once they realize that you have nothing genuine going on in your life. A woman might be attracted to a guy’s game for a week, but she stays for his world.
If your world is just haunting malls with your spam approach day game, she will not see herself in your world.
Even pickup coaches themselves advise against getting into relationships and avoid relationships themselves. But this is detrimental to your future. If by the time you reach your 30s or 40s and you still have little to no relationship experience, what do you think is going to happen? By the time you want to get into a relationship or have a family, you’re going to be on the more unfortunate side of the spectrum where the divorce rate is concerned.
Don’t be surprised when you spend 20 years doing day game, get married, and then get divorced after 2 years. You have trained how to fish, but not how to prepare and cook one.
What’s funny to me is that many dating coaches will make videos roasting random celebrities or figures if that figure’s girlfriend of wife cheated on them, and then simultaneously refuse to admit that relationships are a part of game. Cold approach is only a small part of game. Cold approach doesn’t even encompass two of the five pillars of game.
Dating Summary
It is therefore necessary to understand that game isn’t just about dating. Game is life itself, and you are the protagonist. Don’t set yourself up for disaster in the future just because unmarried dating coaches are telling you to stay single.
Lots of guys are ‘stage 1 rich’ and ‘stage 3 poor’, in that they have 500 phone numbers but not a single woman they can trust to be their life partner.
Stage 2 Of Game – Relationships
Stage 2 0f game is relationships; keeping women. This can be referred to as the relationship game.
This is intentionally phrased plurally… Because if you have multiple girlfriends or wives, then that is a stage 2 matter.
For several of my past relationships, I liked to have one main girlfriend while also seeing other girls on the side. I called this the King & Queen relationship.
The King & Queen relationship is a semi-open relationship, whereby the man has one main girlfriend and openly dates other women, while the main girlfriend is completely loyal to the man. In this sense, the King can do whatever he wants, but the Queen is always loyal the the King. She can’t be a Queen if she acts like a peasant whore. However, the King needs to communicate and maintain that the Queen is always the priority. She is the main woman, and she always comes first in comparison to any other women involved.
What I ultimately learned from this is that some women were ‘wife material’, and some were not. Women I considered wife material would be good girlfriends, and women who are not quite wife material would just be sexual partners.
Game Doesn’t End When You Get Into A Relationship
I always found it funny when guys would say they ‘stopped doing game’ because they got a girlfriend. Or that they are ‘getting back into game’ after breaking up with their girlfriend. The game doesn’t end when you get into a relationship. It just enters the next stage. And if you cannot apply any game to your relationship, then you completely missed the entire point of game in the first place.
Many men surrender leadership when they get into a relationship, and their girlfriend (Or later, wife) then begins to dominate the relationship. Hence the popular phrase ‘she wears the pants in the relationship’. You can think you have all the game there is just because you slept with hundreds of women. But the moment you let a woman dominate your relationship, you clearly have no relationship game. And you may not even realize it until it’s too late… All because you got too comfortable.
The ideal woman for your life is a woman who makes you a better man. If you are with a woman who makes your life worse and brings out the worst in you, you are with the wrong woman.
Relationships Summary
If you can’t keep a woman around, you ultimately have a lifestyle or inner game problem.
On the flip side, if you keep a woman around but you can’t maintain your game (Leadership), your life can easily descend into misery.
This is why it is extremely important to understand that relationships are not only a part of game, but stage 2 of game itself. Game isn’t something you put on a shelf in the storage closet when you get into a relationship. It doesn’t just fucking disappear. But your happiness will certainly disappear if you do not realize or utilize the power of game in relationships.
Stage 3 Of Game – Family
Stage 3 of game is family; raising family and building legacy. We can call this the family game.
You are not required to have children if you don’t want to have children. But in whatever case, the underlying game here is the impact your life leaves on the Universe itself. Your legacy is your children and whatever else you leave behind when you die. But before death, it is your purpose to lead your mission and raise your family.
With family, you get the full benefits of a woman.
- Her loyalty
- Her support of your mission
- Her reproductiveness
- Her femininity
Stage 3 of game is the only one out of the stages of game that you can boldly implement into your identity. You’re a father. You’re a family man. It is the only stage of game that can fulfil itself as a sole higher purpose of life itself. There is truly nothing better than raising your own little clones and conspiring with them to rule the Galaxy together.
Fathers In Game
There are several notable figures related to the seduction community who have children, here are a few of the fathers of game:
- Erik Von Markovik (Mystery), has a son and a daughter
- Owen Cook, has three sons
- Eric Weber
- Adam Lyons
- Todd VanDeHey
- Steve ‘The Dean’ Williams
I have since created a group chat called Game Fathers to share stage 3 game knowledge amongst ourselves.
Family Summary
It took me years to discover the stages of game for myself. I learned from the seduction community about dating. I learned from myself and from my girlfriends about relationships. But with family, I learned from my father, from my grandfather, and also from my wife’s family in Peru.
My paternal grandfather (My dad’s father) was a great man. He grew up poor and died wealthy. Not just wealthy in terms of financial stability, but in terms of happiness. He was everything I aspired to be, and was one of my main male role models. My cousins on that side of the family were all boys, and so were their children. The Whites were always male-dominated; until my daughter was born in 2020, there hadn’t been a White girl born in the family since the 1950s. A strange curse that only I could break. I loved visiting the home of the ‘Great Whites’, it was quiet, peaceful, fun and cheerful. There were always calm and positive conversations between all individuals, regardless of age.
My maternal grandfather (My mom’s father) died a very long time ago. But I remember my father saying that, in hindsight, his father-in-law (My mom’s father) didn’t raise his children well. My mother’s side of the family is filled with financial instability, fatherless homes and female domination. I hated visiting that side of the family. They always moved between homes, everything was always a mess and broken, and they also sometimes lived in trailer parks. All my cousins were female, and my mom has no brothers. So it was strangely like an exact opposite of the White family in general… As for memories, the most significant thing I can remember is witnessing my female cousins commit crimes right before my very eyes. I’m not even sure of the facts, but I’m guessing that every single one of my female cousins has their own fatherless family. I couldn’t even name more than two of their descendants, and they have many between them. As for their father; my uncle, I haven’t seen him in decades and can’t even remember what he looks like. His image has morphed into Claude, the protagonist of Grand Theft Auto III… Pixelated and quiet.
When I first came to Peru in 2019, I slowly started learning about the true meaning of family. While the Whites have always generally been a terrific example, the families in Peru are much bigger. I absorbed the Peruvian culture’s huge emphasis on family, and this is ultimately what led me to the epiphany that there are 3 stages of game. It took years of personal experience, and decades of witnessing other people’s failures and successes in parallel lives close to my own.
