This exercise will do much to turn you into a happy, authentic, confident man.
Did you know that all babies are born with the supreme confidence of a mountain lion?
I’m not kidding…
You were born with the self-belief of James Bond mixed with Conor McGregor, plus a splash of Muhammad Ali thrown in for good measure.
Have you ever seen a baby that was insecure about screaming its head off to let you know it was hungry?
How many times have you seen tiny children shout at their parents to share their opinion?
Babies and toddlers are extremely comfortable with being the centre of attention in a way that most adults aren’t.
What happens to our self-esteem?
We were all born with an innate level of self-worth. We assumed we were valuable and worthy of love. Yet, that innate belief is eventually stripped from us, usually by family members, teachers or other kids.
As we grow older, love and respect from these people typically becomes conditional. If we’re not succeeding at school, acting appropriately in public or being humble about our self-worth, the praise we yearn for is often taken away. Instead, we are judged, isolated or punished.
Perhaps we begin to hear phrases like:
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Don’t get too big for your boots!”
“Who do you think you are?”
“Why can’t you be more like your cousin Amanda?”
These phrases often become more common than any form of praise, and this systematically crushes our self-confidence. Research suggests that children need to hear eight compliments for every one negative comment in order to grow up with healthy levels of self-esteem. How many of us really get that?
Anyways, fast forward to adulthood. Perhaps you want to talk to an attractive woman, speak up in a group setting, start a YouTube channel or promote your talent to the world, but something is pulling you back. You can’t find the willpower to get it done. But why would you? You’ve been conditioned throughout adolescence to believe you’re really not that great of a person. The people you most admired stopped showering you with praise. With that in mind, why would you believe you believe anyone wants to hear what you have to say?
The Inner Child Challenge
Today’s challenge aims to rebuild that shattered self-confidence and help you radiate the natural self-esteem you were born with.
Sit somewhere quiet and close your eyes. Imagine yourself back in the house you grew up in. Find the childhood version of yourself. Take him by the hand and bring him to wherever you live today.
Show him all your cool belongings. The stuff they couldn’t have even imagined owning when you were them. Show them your games console, mountain bike, new technology, a fridge stacked with your favourite food, everything! See how excited they are that your life is so much better than theirs. Let them know that all of this and more is waiting in their future.
Now, tell them you’re the loving and protective big brother they never had. Assure them you’re always going to be there for them. Finally, sit them down and tell them all the things you wish people had said to you as a child.
“You’re an amazing little kid!”
“I’m always gonna be here for you, and I’m never gonna let anyone hurt you, ever.”
“I feel really lucky to know and have you in my life.”
“How on earth did I ever manage to meet a kid as fantastic as you? What did I do to deserve it?”
“It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of you, because I know you’re awesome and I’m never gonna leave you.”
Say these affirmations out loud with pure passion and emotion. Don’t half-heart it.
Notice how much it means to both of you to hear these words. Spend as much time as you need with your inner child, but we’d recommend hanging out for at least 10 minutes. Perhaps you’ll want to make it a regular playdate.
Why does this work?
The reason this exercise is so powerful is because the brain struggles to tell the difference between what’s real and what’s fake. Your brain responds as if it was real. That’s why we get excited by action movies or scared by horror films.
So, when you talk to your childhood self and give it the compliments that no-one else did, it’s like someone did shower him with praise. You did!
This will help that kid (you) to heal the trauma of the past and reclaim the potent levels of self-confidence that they (you) were born with.
I work with men to help them grow into confident, assertive lions that kick ass at life. I’m currently offering free 30-minute Skype calls to a selection of this blog’s readers. In this call, we can create a roadmap to help you live the life you always wanted. To book a free 30-minute Skype call with me, click here >>