Should Men Be Romantic? There are two main strategies a man can use to impress a woman. He can be attractive or romantic. This guide will teach you which one to use to spark attraction.
A woman will only be attracted to a man when his perceived value is higher than hers.
If a woman rates herself as a 7 (for the sake of simplicity), she will only date men she rates as an 8, 9, or 10. Maybe other 7s if that guy gets lucky. Women never consciously date down.
The graph below represents a pretty girl laying eyes on an average-looking man. She rates herself as a 7 and him as a 4.
The guy follows Joe Elvin on Medium so he decides to talk to her anyway. As we’ve explored, he can choose between two main strategies.
- Be attractive. Any behavior that reveals his attractive qualities
- Be romantic. Any behavior that makes a woman feel he loves her and only her.
Now, most men THINK that being romantic will up their perceived value in a woman’s eyes. Here’s what it actually does…
Romantic gestures only serve to make women think more highly of themselves. Now, the perceived value gap is so high that a woman might be disgusted to even be seen talking to this guy.
The only way to up his own perceived value is to be attractive. That might involve being funny, being charismatic or showing off his status in a subtle way. Women are attracted to a lot of different qualities in a guy — and I’ve talked about most of them here on Medium.
What Is The Female Fantasy?
A woman’s fantasy is the man who’s already a 10 in her eyes — maybe a celebrity or a handsome millionaire — deciding to talk to her. She’s a bit nervous and intimidated, but he’s super-kind and romantic to the point where she feels somewhat on his level.
This is what happens in a lot of female-led romance movies, by the way. It’s either that or a nice guy will win her over with a romantic gesture (even though that never happens in real life).
This is why women always give dating advice like “be romantic”, “buy her flowers” or “pay for dinner”. They can only imagine being won over by someone who they already perceived as more valuable than them. Women never consciously date down.
What Should An Average Guy Do?
If you want to seduce a sexy woman, you’ll nearly always need to approach her and be attractive. Most women value themselves higher than ever because of simps, pro-feminist media etc, so you’ll need to up your value in a woman’s eyes.
You can do that by upping your SMV (looks, money, status) over several years to the point it’s immediately obvious you’re better than her. Or you can mimic the behaviors of attractive men by showing off your assertiveness, charisma, sense of humor etc. This is what we call ‘good game’.
Ideally, you’ll be able to up your perceived status above hers to spark attraction.
At this point (and only then), you can be romantic and lift this woman up onto the pedestal with you.
When an attractive man does something romantic, it’s the cutest thing ever. When an unattractive man does, it’s needy and creepy. So, you should only be romantic once you sense a woman is highly attracted to you.
Even then, this should only be done as a favor to help the woman feel less insecure in your presence. If you’re ever romantic as a strategy to make a woman like you, she’ll sense you feel unworthy of her and won’t want to date you anymore.
Should Men Be Romantic In A Relationship?
Romantic gestures are an important part of a monogamous relationship or marriage. They allow women to see you still care about them.
But it’s arguably even more important to remain attractive once you’re coupled up. If you double your weight and lose your job, all the romantic gestures in the world may not save your marriage.
Women will not consciously date down — and few ill accept accidentally marrying down. As such, attraction should always come before romance. Even after you’ve tied the knot.
If you’re the type of guy who struggles to attract or keep a woman’s attention, my book Big Dick Energy will help you. It features 12 powerful exercises to help you unleash your confident masculine energy and attract amazing beautiful women. You can learn more by clicking here or watching the video below.