A manifesto for beginners
Many guys reading this might be wondering how to win over their ‘one special crush’.
Well, the Genie in ‘Aladdin’ didn’t have the power to make a specific woman fall in love with anyone.
And neither does this answer.
However, there is plenty you can do to make yourself more attractive to woman in general.
This is your best shot at winning over your crush.
(Yet, when guys take the following advice, they typically end up attracting far better than the woman they were once obsessed with.)
Talk to her
Don’t believe the myth that it’s better to fake disinterest – or to ignore the women you’re attracted to.
If you’re like her, go talk to her.
Don’t worry about waiting for the ‘perfect moment’. Don’t stress about the embarrassment of getting rejected.
In most cases, I’d recommend to be honest about your intentions. Tell her she looks nice and that’s why you wanted to talk to her.
Most women realize it’s courageous to do this. It’s also one of the best ways to showcase your confidence and charisma. These 3 Cs are very attractive. This alone could be enough to convince her to swap contact details when you ask them.
If you dilly-dally about asking her out – perhaps by acting like her friend for a while – you’re not really showing any of these 3 Cs. This is a common reason why so many guys end up in the ‘friendzone’. Once they show their true colors as a coward, it’s hard to come back from that.
The more time you spend with her, the more comfortable she’ll become around you.
Comfort is really important for women. After all, dating the wrong guy can easily result in reputational damage or even physical danger for her. (it’s far more likely for women than men)
This is why so many women are picky on Tinder and instead choose to date guys from work, social circle or a friend’s recommendation. It’s easier to trust them.
When you spend time with her, make sure she gets to know you. Tell her stories from your past. Encourage her to share hers. Let her know some of your weaknesses. Deep non-surface level conversation breeds trust and comfort.
Live a life she’d want to be a part of
If you have cool friends, enjoy fun hobbies, attend awesome parties and (don’t be triggered) earn a lot of money, this is going to make her want to be a part of your life.
The thing is: boasting about the awesome life you have – and the amount of money you earn – can be a turn-off.
Luckily for you, it’s 2019, so you can add her on social media and let her snoop on your awesome life. This helps her get to know you, and thus builds more comfort too.
(If your social media profile does a poor job of showcasing your life, start working on that. Get good enough at this, and you can start by attracting girls by ‘sliding in their DMs’ or even find them sliding in yours).
The best way to suggest you’re NOT living an awesome fun life is to be overly invested in her. This indicates her you need her to be happy, which no-one woman wants. This is why she’s turned off when you’re too pushy, text too much, overly complimentary etc.
Make it romantic
…and don’t be apologetic about it either.
Most guys are too embarrassed to be flirtatious, even when they’re on a date with a woman.
If you can own your sexuality and be unashamed about your attraction, this can be really sexy (unless you overdo it).
If you can be physical with her on a date – perhaps initially through subtle touches or playful pushes and building it up as she indicates she’s into it – this is likely to be a big turn-on.
As the relationship progresses between you, being a good kisser and fantastic in bed will go a long way to making her like you.
Show you can take care of her
OK, it’s 2019 and feminism is rife. But, on a self-conscious biological level at least, women want a man who can look after them.
This is part of the reason why (don’t be triggered) tall, muscular man are widely considered as attractive.
Even if you’re not tall or strong, you can demonstrate characteristics such as assertiveness, bravery, leadership skills.
A hugely underrated thing you can also do is: take care of yourself. This means dressing well, having good hygiene, not being fat, earning a lot of money (although flaunting your wealth too much can be a turn-off).
If loads of other ‘cool’ people seem to like you, she’s more likely to feel the same. This is human nature. We all behave like sheep.
Our decisions on everything – from the cars we drive to the clothes we wear and the restaurants we dine at – are heavily influenced by what other people seem to like.
And you better believe that women also want to date the guy that everyone else wants to be around.
If a lot of other women want to be around you, she’s likely to want you that much more.
Again, this isn’t something you should boast to her about – but it can be highly effective to feature other women (even if they’re only friends) on your Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook etc.
Here’s the things about a woman’s ‘type’
Yes, most women will tell you they have a ‘type’ of guy they want to date. They might write on their Tinder bio for you to (again sorry, don’t be triggered) swipe left if you’re under 6′ 0″.
Yes, some (mostly stupid younger) women might be ridiculously stubborn about only dating their ‘type’. That’s why I can’t promise you a happily ever after with your one special crush.
However, if you can show your attractiveness in all the ways listed above, it’s remarkably common that women change their mind about how important it was to date her ‘type’. (A short, bald, hairy, pale, 31-year-old writing this answer btw).
It’s pointless bending your personality or appearance to try appeal to a particular girl’s ‘type’. A much better plan is to become the best version of your own ‘type’.
A quick word on ‘pick-up artists’
There are plenty of pick-up artists who claim they can teach men how to attract women using specific lines and routines. However, it is my belief that these ‘tricks’ are simply a way of demonstrating the qualities listed in bold above. They’re therefore unnecessary to learn and only really serve to make you believe that you can’t attract a woman by being yourself.
…and a final word on over-the-top romantic gestures
- Buying flowers.
- Serenading her with a ukulele.
- Writing a love letter every day for a year and building her a house.
These absolutely WILL make a woman like you….if you’re already her boyfriend.
Before then, it comes across as too desperate and communicates that you need her to be happy (no exciting life) and don’t have other women on the scene (no social proof)
Don’t be fooled by Disney movies and romantic comedies.
For step-by-step guides on meeting and seducing women during daytime, nighttime or on dates, check out our free e-book How To Meet Women Anywhere