In January 2018, I gained VIP access to one of the biggest club venues in one of the biggest cities in Europe. This venue had a capacity of almost 1,500 people. It was a great feeling. Here’s how I did it…
When I lived in London, England, I used to go to a club every month for a particular event. It was unique and attracted me because of how big it was and how alternative it was.
Meeting The Guy Who Runs It All
I left a review of the monthly event on the Facebook page, and in a short amount of time the person who DJs it and runs it liked my review, we then connected on Facebook and started having a conversation online. We are going to call this person Mr L.
After messaging, I went to Mr L’s next event at the venue and could see him on the corner of the stage. I came early so I could get in for free, so it wasn’t busy yet, and I waved at him from across the large room from a balcony opposite. I went to the outside balcony (Also a smoking area) and he came to find me after a few minutes. This was the first time we spoke face to face. He offered me a role in promoting for the club. Although, I never followed up with this, and I never became any kind of promoter.
On the aforementioned outside balcony, I was sucked into a conversation with some people, including a guy who I instantly recognized would be onstage and backstage a lot of the time. We built some rapport, and he was a friend of the DJ and didn’t work for the club or anything; he was just there to hangout as a VIP. We found out each other’s names, and it turned out that our surnames meant exact opposites. He was Mr Black, and I was Mr White. Also as a matter of coincidence, he had dark skin, and I had light skin, and each of our first names were 3 letters long. It was as if we instantly became brothers or close friends.
We connected on Facebook, and he agreed to reintroduce me to the guy who ran the whole thing, Mr L. I wanted to see if I could get backstage. Myself and Mr Black waited outside towards the end of closing time, and waited for Mr L to finish up a conversation or two with security. Within those few minutes, I had to think of something to get me backstage.
Value exchanges are universal. When you apply for a job, you offer what kind of experience or other forms of value you can provide. If you are then offered a job, the company that offered you the job offers you value in the form of a salary and any other benefits of working for them. Everything is about value. Banks offer you the safekeeping of your money, and any interest on top of it, in exchange for receiving your money. Similarly, Facebook offers you connectivity with people online and user-generated content, in exchange for your data and being shown ads. Landlords offer accommodation in exchange for your rent. You get the point.
If I want to get backstage without offering anything, I would effectively be taking value. It’s like being a leech, and that kind of deal is unstable.
I wanted to come up with something that would be useful to the club and what Mr L is doing, without any inconvenience or cost on his part, but something that gets me backstage. I considered 4 possibilities:
- Social media growth
I am not a professional photographer or a videographer, and I have never had a DSLR or professional camera. I still don’t even to this day. The club already had their own professional in-house photographer.
What I did have was access to camera guys due to my work with Real Social Dynamics with their events and videos, and my position as leader of what was then RSD Inner Circle London (Now Game London). If I offer to bring in a videographer or two, we can produce some footage, and they can use that footage for ads or promoting their business. It will cost me nothing, and it will cost them nothing.
When Mr L was finished, I came up to him and presented this idea. He liked it, and agreed.
It turned out that he wasn’t just running a monthly Saturday night event, he was also running every single weekly Friday night event too. Mr L was the DJ for Saturdays, but he had other DJs for Fridays. Both nights were extremely popular. Mr L wanted me to interview the main DJ on Friday night.
Being VIP For 60 Weeks
When Friday came, I came along with a videographer that I found in Game London. It was easy to find someone who was willing to film for free without a second thought, given that it would also be his first backstage experience. For both of us, being a VIP and getting backstage was its own reward.
At the front there was a crazy-looking super-slim skinny man to greet us. He was the promoter, and I had a conversation with him before. Everyone who would go to this club on Fridays or Saturdays would have to be blind not to notice him, because he was the craziest party-goer anyone could meet. His name is Tim (It really is), and he gave us wristbands and escorted us backstage so we could meet everyone. I then met the two DJs that rule the entire club on Friday nights, DJ Antics and DJ Matt Terris.
In a nutshell, I interviewed DJ Antics for a few minutes, and I then directed my camera guy to film a few things over the course of the 6 hours that the club night ran (22:00 at night until 04:00 in the morning). This literally just consisted of me being followed by the camera guy, and then me pointing at things for him to capture on camera. It’s hardly any effort of any kind. The total amount of footage was less than 20 minutes, and that was more than good enough. So in fact, filming only took up 5% of our time, and 95% of our time accounted for everything else; partying, interacting with people and just having a good time.
I showed up with a different camera guy just to film more stuff; I enjoyed the taste of the VIP lifestyle, and I wanted to keep doing it. It was not the first time meeting this camera guy, so I knew who he was. We got let in again.
Week 3 & Beyond
On the third week, they just kept letting me in. I did not have a camera guy with me. They gave me the VIP wristband, opened the rope, and let me in. There were hundreds of people waiting in line outside to the side of the building, but I would just go through the front, get given a wristband, and go straight through without being searched or ID checked, or even lined up to pay for entry. Everyone else had to be checked for ID, be searched, and then pay at a counter to get in. I just went by all these people, security, saw my wristband, and that got me through everything instantly.
I then used the following weeks to keep this going, and I built more rapport with the DJs, I built more rapport with Mr L, I built rapport with the photographer, the lighting designer, the promoter and the stage girls. Within a matter of time, I was connected with all of them on Facebook, and I was connected with all the DJs and the photographer on Instagram.
The crazy promoter, Tim, became a kind of close friend. Outside of the club life, we would sometimes meet up and have food. I remember going to a restaurant with Tim, I remember hanging out just to sit down by the river in South London with Tim. I even remember going with Tim to a small gig his girlfriend wrote and performed in, and out of sheer coincidence, there was a guy performing in her gig that met me before in my own workplace when I used to work for a technology company.
Mr L invited me to his birthday party, which I attended and even met his brother. DJ Antics, DJ Matt Terris and Mr L also invited me to a huge festival. These people accepted me into their nightclub, VIP, backstage and onstage family, and I consider every single one of them a good friend to this very day. It was at this point when I stopped being shy, and started to take more photos and videos on my phone. I tried to step it up or try something new week on week. I brought along Snapchat Spectacles, which would shoot videos from my face for me to post on Instagram and Snapchat (I no longer use Snapchat, it’s basically a 14 year old’s version of Instagram).
Instead of sneaking behind the DJs on the stage to get to the backstage room (Green room), I would walk onto the stage and dance with the stage girls. I even wanted to stagedive, but I never did it. I talked it through with some of the others, and the general message was that it’s too risky. Tim pulled it off once, which I witnessed with my own eyes and filmed from my phone and my Snapchat Spectacles simultaneously.
There was only ever one time when I didn’t get in. This was because a previous act jumped off the stage to take a stagedive, and it went horribly wrong. The singer, having finished her concert minutes before the club event was due to start, ended up having her face acquanted with the floor. Nobody could get in, and everybody was evacuating while an ambulance was on its way. It was chaos, and I had a date with me. It was so bad that the date kinda stopped there, which was a shame. She was wearing amazing heels and got compliments on the entire journey from my house to the club by other girls.
I ended up getting girls to open me, escalate on me or follow me on Instagram just because they recognized me as the guy on the stage. It’s called status. I started uploading posts to Facebook and Instagram of my onstage and backstage experiences, plus amazing photos taken of me by the club photographer. I gotta say, the photographer is one of the nicest people I have ever met, he always had a smile on his face.
It wasn’t long before I started using this social circle game setup to bring dates from Tinder, previous nights and other areas of my life. Anyone I would bring to the front of the club would also get a wristband. The status I reached provided me with the ability to take a girl to my place for pre-drinks, take her to the club with me and go backstage, and then back to my place to have sex. Other girls at the club or on Instagram would get jealous, and then start DMing me to bring them backstage. Once or twice I took 2 of my housemates, a girl and a guy, plus a female friend, backstage. That’s when they started seeing me as this really cool person who lived on the floor below in the same house.
I met my previous girlfriend on Tinder, I included the basis of how we met in my book The Message Game. When I saw her profile, I superliked her because one of her photos was in the club I had VIP in, and in the background of her photo I could see the DJ, and I just had to make the coincidence known to her. We matched, we met at an Overground station in London, took her to my place for pre-drinks, and then took her to the club backstage with me. The moment I got backstage, a girl that I made out with the week before walked in and saw us together and had a small chat with us. My date then came home with me, stayed the night, and went back to her place in the morning while I was about to head to work. I sent her out of the house about 20-30 minutes before I was due to leave. When had left the house, I found that she was only 30 seconds away from the house in the direction I needed to go. So we walked together to the limit of our mutual direction.
It turned out that this girl was a L’Oréal model. We started dating, and within a matter of weeks I took her with me as my plus one on some free flights with Air Canada I had won. I went back to my beautiful people in Nova Scotia for a few weeks, and we traveled to Montréal for an entire week. It was lots of fun.
There are many events that branch off of my experience as a VIP with backstage access. I ended up going to this club as a VIP over the period of 60 weeks, until the venue closed for huge renovations, after which I shortly went back to Nova Scotia and then moved to South America. The club venue’s renovations began in 2019, and are not expected to finish until 2022.
It has in fact been more than 2 years, due to travel and the pandemic, that I have seen any of the people that were a part of the club. But we remain connected, and we still watch the stories of each other, like posts and send messages once in a while. The most recent being last week, when DJ Matt Terris responded to my story on Instagram. I met guest performers, including Akira The Don (Who would later go on to make JBPWave music and interview Jordan B Peterson) and Krafty Kuts. I was using my 60 weeks as VIP to up my social circle game and connections.
THIS is social circle game, whether it’s being a VIP, or being in any other position of status. These connections are not temporary, they are permanent.
How You Can Replicate My VIP Experience
You need to think about what kind of value you can offer to someone in a position with access to what you want to achieve.
What value can you provide them that would be very little effort on their part, without costing money or time?
In my case, I offered footage for the DJs to use. They could have used this footage for Instagram, they could have used it for their websites, or they could have used it for promoting their events. It’s useful to them. While they are busy playing music, I can direct some videography of their work and their club and give them the raw footage I acquire, and that’s exactly what I did, but only for the first two weeks.
It’s a win-win for all.
More About Social Circle Game
For more videos about social circle game, take a look at these videos: