If you’ve been watching my content you’ll have seen me posting pics and videos with this woman here lately. Loosely put, she’s my ideal girl and there’s a huge number of things that came together for us to meet. In this post, however; I’m going to focus on the top two which are:
1. I knew where to find women like her
2. I had the balls & skills to approach her
So let’s look at both factors.
1. Do You Know Where To Find Your Ideal Woman?
Too many people, men and women alike, expect to just meet their ideal partners by some sort of spiritual osmosis but real life doesn’t work like that. Dating is like marketing except you’re not promoting a company, you’re promoting yourself. And just like with corporate advertising, if you don’t know who your target audience is and where they are, you’ll never find them.
Who Is Your Ideal Woman & Where Is She?
My type is:
- Physically active
- Party animal
- Kind hearted
And based on that it’s no accident that we met in Bali because it’s full of these sorts of women. In fact, part of why I went there in the first place was for that very reason.
So yeah, what’s your ideal woman like and where the hell is she? If you don’t know you’ll never find her and will always have to settle for women who don’t do it for you.
Where can you find nerdy, conservative, spiritual, successful, fit, or any other types of girls you might be into?
2. Are You Too Scared To Approach?
I don’t go out and do ‘daygame’ anymore. In fact I can’t remember the last time I did. My goal was always to simply learn how to approach and then integrate that skillset into my life so I could have the courage and ability to speak to women I was attracted to as and when I saw them.
So, as a result of taking the time to learn cold approach; I wasn’t lost in a sea of panic and negative emotions when I saw her in that Balinese pet store and that meant I was able to talk to her. Here’s what I said.
“Hey I know this is a bit random, but I had to come and speak to you. You look gorgeous and I’d love to take you for a coffee.”
That first sentence is what’s known as a statement of empathy. Essentially it lets the girl know you understand that approaching her goes outside of the established social norms and that you’re not an uncalibrated weirdo.
The second sentence establishes a man to woman vibe and makes sure there’s no chance of her thinking you’re just there to have a nice chat. A lot of the times when guys approach they do so in a way that seems like they’re just being friendly so the woman feels no vibes and isn’t sexually interested even if she does like them as a person.
I didn’t do that. I placed my balls on the table immediately and she loved it.
FYI I’m not saying that going in direct (as I did here) is the only way to approach. A lot of coaches think it’s best to be indirect and let the chemistry build subtly and I think there’s a lot of merit to that mindset tbh but it’s just not what I did here. Different styles work for different people.
In any event, after that it was a simple case of swapping numbers, letting her cuddle my dog, teasing her a little, and arranging our date.
Now here’s the thing
Has every woman I’ve approached swapped details with me? No. I’ve been rejected countless times, but those rejections don’t affect my life in the least and if I was too afraid to face them I’d have also been too scared to speak to my girl in that pet store.
Guys who don’t approach are afraid of failure but what they don’t realise is that you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Any time you back out of approaching a girl because you’re scared of failure is a literal failure. She isn’t in your life, DMs, or bed and what’s more because you didn’t actually approach her, you haven’t had the chance to figure out where you went wrong and do better in future.
You just failed.