Avoid these daygame mistakes to give yourself the best chance of making a great connection when you meet a woman during the daytime
What’s up, it’s Joe.
Here are the 10 most common mistakes I see people making make when trying to meet women during the day.
Mistake #1 – Not warming up
It’s difficult to shift between the logical and social side of the brain, but “warming up” helps you do this quicker. Don’t think that you’re too cool to do this. Perhaps you want to sing or yell at the top of the voice. Maybe you will start a conversation with the first person you see. Whatever your “warm-up” technique is, get it done! It’ll help you in the long run.
Mistake #2 – Startling her
When people walk down the street, they’re lost in their own thoughts. If you don’t give them space before approaching, you’re going to startle them. Ideally, you’ll start talking to them once you’re in their eye-line around five yards in front of them. Don’t approach from behind!
Mistake #3 – Half-hearted approaches
We do half-hearted approaches because deep down (maybe even subconsciously) we don’t think it’s going to work – so we settle for failing with the least possible embarrassment.
The thing is: half-hearted approaches are actually MORE CREEPY because you’re communicating that what you’re doing is bad and that you don’t want anyone to find out.
It’s also way easier for her to brush off a half-hearted approach. If you approach in a loud and proud manner (as if what you’re about to say will change her dating life for the better forever), it’s actually less effort for her to stop and listen.
Sure, the loud and proud approach might be “high risk”, as in it’s more embarrassing if it fails. But the half-hearted approach is “high risk”, as in it never works.
Mistake #4 – Giving up too easily
I have to be careful how I write this because I am not advocating harassment. Still, I do want her to at least find out the reason why I wanted to talk to her. Daygame isn’t that common. She might assume that I’m trying to sell her something or sign her up to a charity.
If she does give an instant-rejection, I might playfully say: “No, no no you don’t understand. This is awesome.”
With a fun and playful attitude, you can persist for 3 or 4 opens. Unless it’s clear she’s REALLY not in the mood. No to harassment, but yes to playful, fun persistence where both parties are enjoying it.
Mistake #5 – Not stopping her
There are two ways to approach. Stopping her or walking with her. The former is optimal – because you have her full attention, plus eye contact is easier and you’re more likely to make a connection. Walking with her, you don’t have any of these advantages.
Sometimes you’ll have to walk with her. Maybe if she’s in a hurry to get somewhere – or it’s a crowded street where there’s no room to stop her – or she didn’t stop when you tried to stop her (playful, fun persistence only).
Even in these situations, you should ask her to stop for two minutes once it’s clear she likes you.
Don’t be that guy who walks 20 minutes in the wrong direction just to talk to a woman. You’re (supposed to be) a man on your purpose too.
Mistake #6 – Not moving her
A paradox, right? Still, once you’ve been chatting a while, it’s unnatural to stay chatting in the middle of a street. Instead, stroll towards whatever she was doing or to sit down or (even better) for an instant-date.
Mistake #7 – Not asking her on an instant-date
Newbie daygamers tend to want to swap contact details as quickly as possible, then run away before they make a mistake. Her phone number isn’t the prize. Spending time with her is the prize.
Plus, the more time you spend in the initial interaction, the better she knows you and (hopefully) the more comfortable she’ll feel about meeting again in the future.
Mistake #8 – Interview mode
Newbie daygamers tend to try and make nervous, closed-off girls that haven’t ‘hooked’ to open up by asking a bunch of questions.
This tip is listed in Dale Carnegie’s famous book ‘How To Win Friends And Influence People’ but it’s a bad seduction tip.
If you’re still ‘some stranger on the street’ in her eyes, she has no motive to answer your invasive personal questions.
A better strategy is to make playful assumptions about her or fun statements about yourself. These are nearly always more likely to peak her interest in you. Once she realises you’re a fun guy, she’s more likely to stop and open up.
Mistake #9 – Not closing with “a story”
Newbie daygamers often ask to swap contact details, without giving the reason why they want to swap. They might think it’s assumed, but it’s still stronger to paint a picture of a date you’d like to take her on in the future.
The smoothest way to exchange contact details is to suggest an activity before you ask for them. If she agrees it might be a good idea, swapping contact details is then a formality.
In this situation, the texting will be a lot smoother too. Often, you can literally start by arranging the time and date.
Mistake #10 – Not going for the quick close anyway
Maybe she has to rush off in 30 seconds because she’s genuinely busy. You might as well go for the close anyway.
Perhaps say: “Let’s swap Instagrams and perhaps it turns out we’re both really cool. Who knows?”
If your IG profile is strong enough to peak her interest (and that’s a whole different topic) there’s no reason why you can’t start a conversation and have her respond. I’ve not experienced a crazy good response rate from these closes, but it’s better than zero. Also, the more practice you get asking to swap details, the smoother you get at it.